Who am i? A sleepwalker living his dream? Why me? Who am i for my Mistress? Why i am even thinking about it? i am happy. SHE is far away, enjoying HER weekend and i am at home, carefully ironing HER clothes and i am happy. Very nervous, afraid to mess up or make a mistake, but so happy. In many ways i am with HER, even now i am with HER. Just a stupid sub? SHE dominates me, SHE dominates my life, my time, my thoughts. A slave? i have a slave soul, SHE said, and SHE is right, of course.
But i do not want to 'play' slave. i want to be HERS, i want to make HER happy. Servant, slave, puppet, dog, driver... whatever SHE needs. I want to be a part of HER life. Is it possible to be HER friend also?
Very few people are getting everything they want in life. For subs it is even more difficult. How to balance the urge to serve with real life and with the desire for companionship? Many subs are playing the Ds game and trying to stay on top of everything - for the real life, for their sanity. i cannot blame them, but i do not want to play such game. i can not.
It is a part of my real life and the only way how to be honest to myself and to my Mistress is to open myself to it, enjoy every second of it, make it working with my professional life, with my family life and hope in a growing and increasingly stronger relationship. Oh, Goddesses, i am so happy now, i have been found by extraordinary Woman and i will do everything i can to make it working.
Thank YOU, my Mistress, thank YOU for everything.