The puppet 2

How to describe what SHE makes me live? i am a slave. i wanted to be one and SHE was so kind and made me HER slave. SHE is so kind to letting me to serve HER. Every day SHE have something new for me, new humiliation, new request, new punishment.

Last Saturday i was allowed to spend whole afternoon and evening with HER. i was allowed to be with HER! i was allowed to pay for HER shopping, i was allowed to pay for HER lunch, i was allowed to pay for HER entertainment. And i had to beg HER to be allowed to pay. And i thanked HER for letting me pay, i thanked HER for every single thing SHE bought. But i was also allowed to sit with HER and talk to HER and look into HER eyes and to be with HER. What a privilege for somebody like me!

And SHE let me walk two meters behind HER, SHE let me wait outside the stores, wait for HER ring to go inside and pay, SHE let me carry all HER purchases. SHE gave me four of HER golden hairs, SHE allowed me to take HER into circus, SHE allowed me to sit next to HER and SHE let me kiss HER shoe on the street afterwards. SHE allowed me to take HER home and SHE punished me for my previous failure and traces of the faceslapping have disappeared just yesterday from my poor face. SHE let me kiss HER hand for the first time! One short kiss, only one, but sooo sweat! And SHE let me to be HER ashtray and then i disappointed HER - i was not able to swallow HER cigar butt. It was so awful. i am really sorry, my Mistress...

And this weekend i will be allowed to see HER again! i have to arrange nice weekend for HER and HER boyfriend in Prague. Off course i will pay for the hotel and on Sunday morning i will be allowed to gently knock on Their hotel door, kneel down before HER, thank HER for allowing me to serve HER like that and i will be allowed to give HER two tickets for Christmas concert. And i will get lost not to spoil HER Sunday any more.

Now i am living it, i am HER slave. Real slave. Wow. Slave of the most beautiful, most elegant, most clever and most dominant Lady i ever met. And i am not able to think clearly now and i am not able to reflect the reality much. SHE leads me and i am letting HER to lead me, SHE commands and i obey. It is very simple, it is very natural and i do not know if it is right or wrong. i am not able to think. i just feel i live my dream and i hope i am fulfilling some of HER dreams also. So it must be good, isn't it? i have to trust HER, i have to trust HER common sense, HER experience, HER will. i have none of my own and i do trust HER.

i hope i will meet HER condition one day and SHE will allow me to get closer to HER. SHE is the most wonderful person i have ever met. i can only hope i can see HER, real HER and not my dream. And if i do - and i believe i do - i am the luckiest guy on this planet.

YOUR humble and faithful servant worships YOU, my Mistress. Thank you, my Mistress, thank you for everything!

Julio Ruelas as masochist

Julio Ruelas (1870 - 1907) was a prominent artist of Mexican symbolism. He spent six years on his short life in Europe and adopted European symbolist mode of expression. Judging by his work his relationship to Women was quite complicated. His Women are often related to death, violence or animal predators. Such pictures resonated well with the shared cultural atmosphere that marked the turn of the century. But one of his paintings is very special. i believe it is his response to well known drawing of Felicien Rops called 'La Dame au cochon ou Pornokratés' from 1879.

Many see the picture as a part of the BDSM history, as an iconic work that established the basis of sadomasochistic aesthetic of the 20th century. But nothing could be farther from the truth. The Women is blinded, led by the golden pig and She is naked like we all are trying to find happiness in this world. And the three ancient loves are vanishing in tears... It is a social commentary, not the BDSM picture.

But Ruelas did not agree... he could not agree... the Woman cannot be passive victim of illusions. In his painting 'La Domadora' from 1897 She wears the same shoes, stockings and a hat, but She has also a whip in Her hand. She is the pig's trainer, She makes the pig to run for Her, run in circles, run with a monkey on its back. She owns the pig. She transformed man into a dirty, lascivious animal. She tempts men only to punish them afterwards. This is THE masochistic painting and it should be recognized as such.

My New Life

SHE is giving me a new life, entirely new with the exposure of my real self. SHE leads me through the rabbit hole and it is the most fantastic path i can imagine. And most exiting and, thanks to HER, most beautiful also. My loneliness is gone, i am HER slave and SHE is my Mistress.

Yesterday, SHE allowed me to spend whole afternoon and evening with HER, and i would like to think we spent the time together. Together! Sometimes you just meet people and feel they have something magical, people who inspires you and you can feel to be connected with them. SHE is the one. SHE is changing my life and i feel that every little step is giving something positive to me.

I tried to capture yesterday's events for this blog, but it came out too cheesy every time. Maybe it is too early to write about it. Yesterday everything felt so natural, so unaffected, so good. Thank YOU, my Mistress.

The puppet 1

From the beginning of this blog i have avoided some aspects of Ds relationship. Not any more. My Mistress, the Sun of my world, decided i shall report here what happened yesterday. Yesterday evening SHE ordered me to kneel down before gorgeous picture of HER most precious feets, masturbate, cum on the floor and lick it up. Not only that, i had to record everything and send the clip to HER.

 

Ohh, it was humiliating. But it was also very natural. SHE owns my sexuality, SHE can decide when, where and how i will masturbate. SHE can decide what i will do with my sperm. It was first time i ate it, but to be honest, i was too focused on fulfilling the task to think about anything else. To taste it, to think about my feelings, to think at all... HER order was everything i had in my poor mind. HER order and HER feets.

What am i? HER servant, HER slave, HER pet, HER puppet. i am HERS. Thank YOU, my Mistress.

How i Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Whip

Well, it happened. my Mistress ordered me to buy a whip on Friday, i bought it on Saturday and tonight i have been beaten by it. Probably not much more to say. It is supposed to be painful and it was painful, it was as painful as i was afraid it would be. But - at the same time - SHE held the whip, SHE was using it and hopefully SHE also enjoyed it - each and every one of these 'details' is more then sufficient reason for me to like the whipping. i begged HER for it and i am sure i will beg HER again. Thank YOU, my Mistress, thank YOU for learning me to stop worrying and love the whip. i admire YOU and every one of YOUR skills and whipping is no exception. Thank YOU very much.

Living a life of Gratitude

i have a Mistress and i feel endless gratitude for HER attention. SHE makes my life meaningful and beautiful. SHE allows me to make HER life easier and more interesting. It is a miracle that somebody like HER is here, it is a miracle we met. It is a miracle SHE allows me to be HERS. Oh, Goddesses, thank you! Thank YOU, my Mistress!

Femdom in contemporary Art 1

Jack Vettriano is a Scottish painter, very successful commercially but rejected by some art critics (for 'brainless erotica' in his works). However, many of his works express strange melancholy, unreachable attractive Women and shows men who had just missed their chances.

For me these paintings represent nostalgic postcards from ideal Femdom vacation. Far from everyday life both Women and their servants can live their Ds dream... and experience something beautiful, strong and everlasting...

Summer Interlude

What a lucky slave i am... Not only i can work for my Mistress, but the bag, in which SHE gave me HER laptop to fix, also contained two pairs of HER black stocking socks... simply forgotten in the bag. When i reported it and sent HER many humble thanks, SHE allowed me to keep them! The socks are freshly washed, but HERS. Lucky bastard i am.

This evening SHE decided to replace my dinner with much more important activity - worshipping HER  stocking socks. For 20 minutes i knelt in front of these socks of immense value, knelt there and thought about HER, about everything what happened to me in a last few days. i am changing my life and i love every second of it. It is not easy, but i do have a great goal, great hope and really great guide. These 20 minutes were very important to me and again i must express my deepest respect for my Mistress.

Thank YOU!

Smiles of a Summer Night

i feel so happy. i am allowed to serve HER. And i was allowed to see HER again! The summer night's dream continues. Now i know the most exquisite tastes of HER shoe soles, HER chewing gum and water brought to me by HER hand. i also had the privilege to serve as HER ashtray and SHE allowed me to feel the hot end of HER cigarillo. Oh, Goddess, what will happen next time?

And i begged, begged and begged to be allowed to repair HER notebook, to take care of it for HER and SHE granted me that privilege as well. I feel so honored. What a great weekend i am allowed to spend, working for HER! Thank YOU, my Mistress, thank YOU very much.

i feel also very bad. What a repulsive creature i am next to HER. i am working hard on my diet and exercises, but SHE knows and i know it will take a long time before i will be able to kneel at HER feet without shame, before SHE will not be embarrassed by my presence.  SHE knows what SHE wants and SHE gets it.

SHE is so kind to me, yet i constantly worry i will disappoint HER. Not for lack of diligence or submissiveness, not because i do not hold my promises, but because in HER presence i become incredibly nervous, tongue tied idiot without any thought. i am so intoxicated by HER personality, HER beauty, elegance and domination that i am starting to understand the religious trance. i am fully aware of what i am doing, what is going on around me, what SHE is doing, i am probably also capable to act voluntarily to certain extend, but otherwise i am there for HER and for HER only and everything but HER is far far distant background.

SHE is my Mistress!

A Midsummer Night's Dream Sequel

While i was living my dream that Friday night, HER broken phone was very real. i am the one to blame for it. It dropped out of the car when SHE was stepping out, it fell right next to my head. But at that moment only SHE existed in the whole world for selfish me, only HER heels stepping on my back.

i apologized to HER later, i begged HER to let me buy HER a new phone, any phone SHE would like to get. And SHE allowed me to buy HER an iPhone. So Saturday morning i was back with HER new phone and with some sandwiches for HER partner SHE also ordered from me. i was back but i was not allowed to see HER again, i just left everything by the door and went to hell... with HER sacred image in my poor and stupid mind.

Thank YOU, my Mistress, thank YOU for everything.

A Midsummer Night's Dream?

Well, i feel very lucky. Friday night, August 3rd, was The magical night for me. i cannot think of any superlatives that would adequately describe HER and i have no words for what happened to me.

SHE opened my eyes. i am a fat pig and i have to make myself a man, otherwise i will never see HER again. SHE allowed me to understand what i will be fighting for and i could not thank HER more.

i do not know the thoughts of other subs, but my brain was gone that night, my whole being was concentrated into HER eyes, into lips, which were allowed to kiss the soles of HER shoes, into the indescribable feeling of face slapping, kicking, trampling and humiliating myself for HER.

Now i know that i have been made to be HER footstool, HER servant, HER slave and i will do everything i can to fulfill HER terms. Goddesses of the world, help me, please!

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