Begging

i did not make much collages lately, the real life is winning... thanks to all Goddesses above us, thanks to my precious Mistress... but here is a new one - and i am also on my knees, adoring my Mistress, praying to Her and begging Her for Her whip...

Love and Dignity

Dignity and Love do not go well together, and cannot remain in one place, wrote Ovid in the second book of Methamorphoses. Hmmm... Love doesn't not care, i think.

Non bene conveniunt nec in una sede morantur maiestas et amor.

Merry Christmas...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to my Mistress, the most wonderful person i am allowed to know, and to all good people in the world...

Reader's Diary (Week 51)

He gives of himself, of the most precious thing he has, he gives what is live in him; he gives his joy, his intrest, his understanding, his knowledge, his humour, his sadness, he gives of all the expressions and manifestations of that which is alive in him. In thus giving of his life, he enriches the other person, he enhances the others sense of aliveness by enhancing his own sense of aliveness. He does not give in order to receive; giving is in itself exquisite joy. In giving he cannot help bringing something to life in the other person, and this which is brought to life reflects back to him and they both share in the joy of what they have brought to life.

(Fromm, 1956)

A Streetcar Named Desire

The famous scene from a 1947 play written by Tennessee Williams shows Stanley, symbol of virility and manhood, kneeling exposed and half-naked on the pavement and desperately crying his Wife's name... how difficult it is - the actor must be both sexy and terrifying, strong and helpless... he must attract Stella,  pull Her towards him, pull Her down the stairs, down to his level... He is not submissive and She is not dominant and yet, he is on his knees, desperately alone, guilty, powerless, kneeling under the stairs and begging Her, begging for Her love, for Her...

Love is everything

Love is the only thing that matter and worth fighting for. Memories of time spent together makes me smile, mere presence of my Mistress makes me happy. Simple but so rare human proximity, just to be allowed to be close to someone so beautiful is gorgeous and wonderful. i am so proud to be a slave of my Mistress, slave not only in terms of Ds... the only thing i want is to be helpful to HER, so SHE can live HER life to the fullest, be happy and do the best SHE can... Thank YOU, my Mistress, thank YOU for everything!

Love

Not all dogs could be handsome or eloquent or victorious, but every dog could love. Inside my homely hide beat the most affectionate, loyal, faithful heart of any dog since dogs were...

BDSM Club approved at Harvard College

Harvard College Munch for the BDSM was approved Friday by the Committee of Student Life at world-renowned Harvard College in Cambridge (it is the 'original' Harvard founded in 1636). The group, which began meeting informally a year ago, has grown to about 30 members. The go-ahead by the Committee entitles the Group to meet for lunch or dinner on campus, promote gatherings on school grounds and also apply for grants.

The institutional support for BDSM student group does have a historical precedent - the Iowa State University student government funded a bondage club in 2003. I think it is great to give students who feel outside of the sexual mainstream an opportunity to learn that they are not alone and BDSM is legitimate sexual behavior.

And if they are lucky enough, they can find the most wonderful person on this world, the person with whom they can confide their innermost feelings, the person they will love, to which they can completely devote themselves, the person with whom they can be happy, the person that they can make happy. What else is important in our lives?

The Dregs

Harry Willson Watrous (1857-1940) was a leading portrait painter in turn-of-the-century New York. He specialized in a wide variety of subjects, including genre paintings, portraits of women, landscapes, night scenes and still lifes, but his style always remained rather academic... However, one of paintings is quite different - The Dregs from 1914... the dreamy atmosphere and symbolic composition gives the painting a very strong Femdom character... it is like a dream of a proud, dominant Woman... is it not?

Reader's Diary (Week 47)

A submissive masochist can be a competent professional; a dominant sadist can be a loving parent… we do have a dark side, we do have violent urges. S/m allows for the eroticization of power and powerlessness to be transformed, controlled and channelled into an expression of love, intimacy, and mutual caring. The scene space becomes a sacred circle where contraries do exist: pain becomes pleasure, control becomes freedom, and darkness becomes light.
(Stein, 1999)

Femdom Sculpture

Some statues are just statues, but some, not many, are simply breathtaking. All the beauty embodied in the stone, eternal stone full of life, full of spirit and energy, makes you feel connected to Gods...

It is not coincidence that Feminine beauty and its power is almost the only subject of these sculptures. Two of them were created by two great French sculptors, Camille Claudel (1864-1943) and Auguste Rodin (1840-1917). Claudel met Rodin in 1883 and quickly became his model, lover and muse. She worked in his workshop and developed Her own talent. In 1886 Claudel started working on Her 'Sakuntala'. She finished it two years later and exhibited it with great success. In 1890 Rodin combined two of his previously created figures into famous sculpture 'The Eternal Idol' and Claudel further developed Her original idea and in 1905 She finished Her marble version of Sakuntala named Vertumnus and Pomona. Art creates beauty.

Religious Love

i do not want to talk about Ds references in Bible (though there are many), i do not want to discuss if God is male or Female (probably both, as he created both Adam and Eve in his own image), i want to share my thoughts of love. The love i am experiencing is so huge and overwhelming and unlimited and strangely enough the only literal description close enough to my feelings i have found in writings of medieval mystics... Disappointed by fellow people they were looking for God, for perfect being, for somebody worthy of their unconditional love. They replaced earthly love with love to God and called it greater, and true and perfect... They were unable to find pleasure and joy in this world so they were looking for ecstasy in eternity. i think i can understand them, the power of love is so mighty...

But i am lucky, so unbelievably lucky, i can dedicate my love to the Woman, to the most gorgeous Woman i have ever met, to my Mistress. And all the pain they went through on their mystic way i can enjoy directly from HER beautiful hands. And all my despair and all my love i can lie at HER lovely feet right now. And i do not need any visions, i can drown in HER deep eyes right now. And i can see HER and i can feel HER right now. And i can be with HER now... i can give myself to HER. Oh, Goddesses, you are so gracious! Thank YOU Mistress, thank YOU for everything.

Reader's Diary (Week 46)

One should not despise a beautiful dream. Life is only a dream, but an ugly one.

(Sacher-Masoch, 1886)

Reader's Diary (Week 45)

It was ordained that the Queen should have greater power and honour than the king and that among private persons the Wife should enjoy authority over Her husband, the husbands agreeing in the marriage contract that they will be obedient in all things to their Wives.
(Diodorus, 50BC)

Maximas gratias ago tibi valde...

Jacques Callot - Balli di sfessania

Italian artist Jacques Callot (1592-1632), one of the first practicing the graphic arts exclusively, included one very interesting plate into his series from 1622 dedicated to Florence street performers engaged in a 'sfessania' dance. A man on the picture is kneeling at the feet of a Woman and kissing the shoe She is imperiously presenting him. His comic mask and baggy outfit, outstretched arms earnestly offering a cape to his Mistress, HER mocking pose and confident smile, it all creates a very strong Ds public scene from it.

Three Months

Today it is exactly three months. And it feels strangely... i feel not only as i had always known HER, but moreover, that SHE is very important and precious part of my life for long long time. But i know it is not true and i bitterly regret every moment i have spent without HER. How empty was my life without HER! Have you ever fell in love, unconditional and pure love? All my thoughts, feelings and emotions are suddenly about HER and yet it seems to be the most natural state of things, state of the world... It is three months, for three months i am HER slave. For three months my only desire is to be better for HER, to be better person, man, slave... and to make HER happy. Thank YOU, my Mistress, thank YOU for everything.

Sub love

i was immediately struck by this painting. It is a portrait of the Princess Leonilla of Sayn-Wittgenstein-Sayn by Franz Xaver Winterhalter. He portrayed his Maecenas many times, but this painting from 1843 is different. The sensual pose of the Princess, Her carefully displayed beauty, intelligence and ego, clearly expressed unassailable social position of the young Woman, Her elegant and luxurious gown, pearls, majestic porch columns and tropical landscape... all of this together creates a perfect submissive tribute, a celebration of Feminine perfection and truly humble work of devoted love.

This is how i see my Mistress, i love HER the same way. SHE is so incredibly beautiful, intelligent and smart and sophisticated Woman! And i am learning how to serve HER, i am learning how to deal with my love for HER. i am learning by making every possible mistake. And every my fault, every error makes me deeply sorry and very worried and every punishment is then truly liberating and calming. But i do not want to make mistakes. i am HER slave, so grateful slave, so proud to wear a dog collar SHE gave me... And every talk, every task, every beating, every humiliation increases my admiration for HER.

If i satisfy just a tiny part of HER needs, i am a very lucky man. i know that. But SHE is giving me so much and my desire is to give HER back all joy and love and satisfaction i able to... My Mistress, thank you, thank YOU for everything!

Franz Kuna Femdom Drawings

I do not know much about Czech/Austrian painter Karl Franz Kuna (1881-1943). He was born in Aussig (Usti nad Labem), lived in Vienna for some time and died in Linz. One of many regional artists, his artistic production does not stand out above the rest, but i still find some of his erotic drawings to be quite inspiring.

Weekend

How can a slave, as myself, wish a great and relaxing weekend to his Mistress? I would like to be able to do much more, than just send the picture... but i am happy i can do at least that. Have a nice weekend, my Mistress, and thank YOU for everything!

Thank YOU, my Mistress...

Femdom in contemporary Art 1 (cont.)

Jack Vettriano's paintings of strong and independent Women are simply irresistible. I know that his rather simple technique, certain woodenness, schematism and stiffness of the paintings are not pushing the art forward, nevertheless these images resonate well with my own view of the world.

Women in Ads - Germe

Back in 2009, the Uruguayan Women's stockings manufacturer Germe prepared a really great campaign. The pictures reflect very well some of my feelings and i believe that every submissive man, maybe every man, is familiar with similar emotions, although it takes much more than nice stockings.

And i am so incredibly lucky to know a Woman, the Woman, that makes me feel such way every single second. No wonder SHE owns me. What a lucky idiot i am!

Reader's Diary (Week 38)

Pains of love be sweeter far than all other pleasures are.
(Dryden, 1669)

Saturday morning 2

It is not a game, i live and i breath for my Mistress. It is not very accurate - i live from HER, from HER as a Woman, from HER as a person. And thanks to some incredible luck SHE is also my Mistress.  One day without HER is like a wasted day. No, i know it IS wasted day. Every second with HER fills me with happiness, with hope, with peace; lightest touch of HER hand, HER foot, is turning this world into paradise. How could i live without HER?

Kneeling before HER is the most natural thing for sub inside me. Fulfilling HER orders and wishes brings order into my submissive soul. All the mockery and humiliations and punishments feels so good, so appropriate. And man in me is more and more in love with HER stunning beauty, HER fabulous personality, HER great intellect, HER amazing grace, HER beautiful soul... SHE is like an ocean for me, endless and deep and full of hidden wonders... and i can see millions of sparks in HER eyes, the most gorgeous eyes on this planet, i can see an infinite number of glares and shadows of these wonders and my only desire is to be with HER, to protect HER, to serve HER, to make HER happy and to get a chance to learn all about HER, to get know all these wonders SHE has inside HER eyes, to understand all HER thoughts...

i am HERS. SHE leads me through the rabbit hole of Ds, love and life and i am HERS. And i am so grateful SHE is the one, SHE is here, SHE is... Thank YOU my Mistress, thank YOU for everything.

Saturday morning

i am missing words to describe my feelings - simply, it is unbelievable how lucky i am. With every whipping i am coming more out of my shell, with every face slap i flourish like a flower. And SHE is my soil and water and sun. SHE is the sun of my life. i am waking up and falling asleep with HER smile in my mind. SHE restores my faith in people. i trust HER. It is not only about Ds for me, it is also about connection with HER. i love the Ds part, oh yes, i love it very much, but SHE is not only perfect Mistress, SHE is also a great Woman, so charming and so intelligent, and i adore HER as beautiful person. SHE knows Herself, SHE knows what SHE wants and it is great privilege to be with HER, to serve HER, to worship HER and submit to HER. SHE makes me a better person. Wow... i am missing right words to describe my feelings.

Thank YOU, my Mistress, thank YOU for everything.

Who am i?

Who am i? A sleepwalker living his dream? Why me? Who am i for my Mistress? Why i am even thinking about it? i am happy. SHE is far away, enjoying HER weekend and i am at home, carefully ironing HER clothes and i am happy. Very nervous, afraid to mess up or make a mistake, but so happy. In many ways i am with HER, even now i am with HER. Just a stupid sub? SHE dominates me, SHE dominates my life, my time, my thoughts. A slave? i have a slave soul, SHE said, and SHE is right, of course.

Art by Albert Aublet

But i do not want to 'play' slave. i want to be HERS, i want to make HER happy. Servant, slave, puppet, dog, driver... whatever SHE needs. I want to be a part of HER life. Is it possible to be HER friend also?

Very few people are getting everything they want in life. For subs it is even more difficult. How to balance the urge to serve with real life and with the desire for companionship? Many subs are playing the Ds game and trying to stay on top of everything - for the real life, for their sanity. i cannot blame them, but i do not want to play such game. i can not.

It is a part of my real life and the only way how to be honest to myself and to my Mistress is to open myself to it, enjoy every second of it, make it working with my professional life, with my family life and hope in a growing and increasingly stronger relationship. Oh, Goddesses, i am so happy now, i have been found by extraordinary Woman and i will do everything i can to make it working.

Thank YOU, my Mistress, thank YOU for everything.

Love and Ds

As a sub the only thing i desire is My Mistress, Her pleasure, Her fun and Her satisfaction. To be there for Her in good and in bad times. Submit to Her, be Hers in everything. As a sub i need to see Her to enjoy my presence, to enjoy my services, my humiliation, my pain. My desires in itself do not make any sense, but She is giving purpose to them and only She can make it all working. It is all about Her, i want to give myself to Her and i hope She will value it, value me, not for the actions, but rather for the person revealed through the actions.

And lucky fool i am! i do have a Mistress and SHE has me. i am here to fulfilling HER desires, to please HER, to serve HER. And i adore HER, i worship HER and i dream about HER and i love HER. Yes. If the love is not based only on our feeling about the other person, on how the other person makes feel us, on desire and affection and compassion, but also on how well our needs are met, then there is no doubt. i know i would be crippled without HER. i know that SHE is making my life better, SHE is saving it from damnation. SHE makes me happy and SHE makes me enjoy myself again, SHE is giving me the purpose and meaning. SHE makes me a better person. And i can only hope i am giving something back to HER. i believe and i hope...

i am YOURS, my Mistress and i thank YOU for everything.

Love is a strong word with even stronger meaning. And to be honest i am afraid to use it. i am afraid it is just an illusion, just a product of my current affection for my Mistress. i am afraid it would be considered as inappropriate, as something too strong too early. Simply i am not sure if to write about it is okay. But i feel it and i want to be honest. Oh, Goddesses, help me...

Hic sunt leones!

Art by Cecelia Webber

The magical weekend has passed. i was allowed to see my Mistress for 3-4 minutes, but what an experience it was! me, HER slave, kneeling before HER in HER hotel room, with HER boyfriend lying in the bed behind the wall, listening to everything, and me thanking HER for the privilege of arranging the weekend for HER, for making sure everything is ready and just perfect for HER, for allowing me to pay for HER weekend night in such magnificent hotel, the night dedicated to HER and HER boyfriend. And i could see SHE is happy and SHE is satisfied and i was allowed to enter HER room and kiss the floor beneath HER feet and thank HER and beg HER to accept the tickets for Christmas concert. And SHE was beautiful and SHE stood above me and i felt HER sovereignty, i felt the intimate atmosphere of Their romantic night, the glow They had left in the room. And SHE allowed me to be a part of it and i am so grateful to HER.

SHE let me enter HER world, the Paradise, the Heaven. Now SHE guides me through Purgatory but on Sunday SHE allowed me to see the First sphere of the Heaven and i am happy and thankful and i cannot wait to go further and i know i will do everything i can for HER. i am so happy. SHE is my Mistress and i am HER slave. HERS. Thank you, my Mistress, thank YOU for everything.

Reader's Diary (Week 35)

The primeval man was round, his back and sides forming a circle; and he had four hands and four feet, one head with two faces, looking opposite ways, set on a round neck and precisely alike; also four ears, two privy members, and the remainder to correspond… Terrible was their might and strength, and the thoughts of their hearts were great, and they made an attack upon the gods… The gods could not suffer their insolence to be unrestrained… At last, after a good deal of reflection, Zeus discovered a way. He said: "Methinks I have a plan which will humble their pride and improve their manners; men shall continue to exist, but I will cut them in two and then they will be diminished in strength and increased in numbers; this will have the advantage of making them more profitable to us. They shall walk upright on two legs, and if they continue insolent and will not be quiet, I will split them again and they shall hop about on a single leg." He spoke and cut men in two, like a sorb-apple which is halved for pickling… Each of us when separated, having one side only, like a flat fish, is but the indenture of a man, and he is always looking for his other half… And when one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy.
(Plato, around 380 BC)

The puppet 2

How to describe what SHE makes me live? i am a slave. i wanted to be one and SHE was so kind and made me HER slave. SHE is so kind to letting me to serve HER. Every day SHE have something new for me, new humiliation, new request, new punishment.

Last Saturday i was allowed to spend whole afternoon and evening with HER. i was allowed to be with HER! i was allowed to pay for HER shopping, i was allowed to pay for HER lunch, i was allowed to pay for HER entertainment. And i had to beg HER to be allowed to pay. And i thanked HER for letting me pay, i thanked HER for every single thing SHE bought. But i was also allowed to sit with HER and talk to HER and look into HER eyes and to be with HER. What a privilege for somebody like me!

And SHE let me walk two meters behind HER, SHE let me wait outside the stores, wait for HER ring to go inside and pay, SHE let me carry all HER purchases. SHE gave me four of HER golden hairs, SHE allowed me to take HER into circus, SHE allowed me to sit next to HER and SHE let me kiss HER shoe on the street afterwards. SHE allowed me to take HER home and SHE punished me for my previous failure and traces of the faceslapping have disappeared just yesterday from my poor face. SHE let me kiss HER hand for the first time! One short kiss, only one, but sooo sweat! And SHE let me to be HER ashtray and then i disappointed HER - i was not able to swallow HER cigar butt. It was so awful. i am really sorry, my Mistress...

And this weekend i will be allowed to see HER again! i have to arrange nice weekend for HER and HER boyfriend in Prague. Off course i will pay for the hotel and on Sunday morning i will be allowed to gently knock on Their hotel door, kneel down before HER, thank HER for allowing me to serve HER like that and i will be allowed to give HER two tickets for Christmas concert. And i will get lost not to spoil HER Sunday any more.

Now i am living it, i am HER slave. Real slave. Wow. Slave of the most beautiful, most elegant, most clever and most dominant Lady i ever met. And i am not able to think clearly now and i am not able to reflect the reality much. SHE leads me and i am letting HER to lead me, SHE commands and i obey. It is very simple, it is very natural and i do not know if it is right or wrong. i am not able to think. i just feel i live my dream and i hope i am fulfilling some of HER dreams also. So it must be good, isn't it? i have to trust HER, i have to trust HER common sense, HER experience, HER will. i have none of my own and i do trust HER.

i hope i will meet HER condition one day and SHE will allow me to get closer to HER. SHE is the most wonderful person i have ever met. i can only hope i can see HER, real HER and not my dream. And if i do - and i believe i do - i am the luckiest guy on this planet.

YOUR humble and faithful servant worships YOU, my Mistress. Thank you, my Mistress, thank you for everything!

Julio Ruelas as masochist

Julio Ruelas (1870 - 1907) was a prominent artist of Mexican symbolism. He spent six years on his short life in Europe and adopted European symbolist mode of expression. Judging by his work his relationship to Women was quite complicated. His Women are often related to death, violence or animal predators. Such pictures resonated well with the shared cultural atmosphere that marked the turn of the century. But one of his paintings is very special. i believe it is his response to well known drawing of Felicien Rops called 'La Dame au cochon ou Pornokratés' from 1879.

Many see the picture as a part of the BDSM history, as an iconic work that established the basis of sadomasochistic aesthetic of the 20th century. But nothing could be farther from the truth. The Women is blinded, led by the golden pig and She is naked like we all are trying to find happiness in this world. And the three ancient loves are vanishing in tears... It is a social commentary, not the BDSM picture.

But Ruelas did not agree... he could not agree... the Woman cannot be passive victim of illusions. In his painting 'La Domadora' from 1897 She wears the same shoes, stockings and a hat, but She has also a whip in Her hand. She is the pig's trainer, She makes the pig to run for Her, run in circles, run with a monkey on its back. She owns the pig. She transformed man into a dirty, lascivious animal. She tempts men only to punish them afterwards. This is THE masochistic painting and it should be recognized as such.

My New Life

SHE is giving me a new life, entirely new with the exposure of my real self. SHE leads me through the rabbit hole and it is the most fantastic path i can imagine. And most exiting and, thanks to HER, most beautiful also. My loneliness is gone, i am HER slave and SHE is my Mistress.

Yesterday, SHE allowed me to spend whole afternoon and evening with HER, and i would like to think we spent the time together. Together! Sometimes you just meet people and feel they have something magical, people who inspires you and you can feel to be connected with them. SHE is the one. SHE is changing my life and i feel that every little step is giving something positive to me.

I tried to capture yesterday's events for this blog, but it came out too cheesy every time. Maybe it is too early to write about it. Yesterday everything felt so natural, so unaffected, so good. Thank YOU, my Mistress.

The puppet 1

From the beginning of this blog i have avoided some aspects of Ds relationship. Not any more. My Mistress, the Sun of my world, decided i shall report here what happened yesterday. Yesterday evening SHE ordered me to kneel down before gorgeous picture of HER most precious feets, masturbate, cum on the floor and lick it up. Not only that, i had to record everything and send the clip to HER.

 

Ohh, it was humiliating. But it was also very natural. SHE owns my sexuality, SHE can decide when, where and how i will masturbate. SHE can decide what i will do with my sperm. It was first time i ate it, but to be honest, i was too focused on fulfilling the task to think about anything else. To taste it, to think about my feelings, to think at all... HER order was everything i had in my poor mind. HER order and HER feets.

What am i? HER servant, HER slave, HER pet, HER puppet. i am HERS. Thank YOU, my Mistress.

How i Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Whip

Well, it happened. my Mistress ordered me to buy a whip on Friday, i bought it on Saturday and tonight i have been beaten by it. Probably not much more to say. It is supposed to be painful and it was painful, it was as painful as i was afraid it would be. But - at the same time - SHE held the whip, SHE was using it and hopefully SHE also enjoyed it - each and every one of these 'details' is more then sufficient reason for me to like the whipping. i begged HER for it and i am sure i will beg HER again. Thank YOU, my Mistress, thank YOU for learning me to stop worrying and love the whip. i admire YOU and every one of YOUR skills and whipping is no exception. Thank YOU very much.

Living a life of Gratitude

i have a Mistress and i feel endless gratitude for HER attention. SHE makes my life meaningful and beautiful. SHE allows me to make HER life easier and more interesting. It is a miracle that somebody like HER is here, it is a miracle we met. It is a miracle SHE allows me to be HERS. Oh, Goddesses, thank you! Thank YOU, my Mistress!

Femdom in contemporary Art 1

Jack Vettriano is a Scottish painter, very successful commercially but rejected by some art critics (for 'brainless erotica' in his works). However, many of his works express strange melancholy, unreachable attractive Women and shows men who had just missed their chances.

For me these paintings represent nostalgic postcards from ideal Femdom vacation. Far from everyday life both Women and their servants can live their Ds dream... and experience something beautiful, strong and everlasting...

Summer Interlude

What a lucky slave i am... Not only i can work for my Mistress, but the bag, in which SHE gave me HER laptop to fix, also contained two pairs of HER black stocking socks... simply forgotten in the bag. When i reported it and sent HER many humble thanks, SHE allowed me to keep them! The socks are freshly washed, but HERS. Lucky bastard i am.

This evening SHE decided to replace my dinner with much more important activity - worshipping HER  stocking socks. For 20 minutes i knelt in front of these socks of immense value, knelt there and thought about HER, about everything what happened to me in a last few days. i am changing my life and i love every second of it. It is not easy, but i do have a great goal, great hope and really great guide. These 20 minutes were very important to me and again i must express my deepest respect for my Mistress.

Thank YOU!

Smiles of a Summer Night

i feel so happy. i am allowed to serve HER. And i was allowed to see HER again! The summer night's dream continues. Now i know the most exquisite tastes of HER shoe soles, HER chewing gum and water brought to me by HER hand. i also had the privilege to serve as HER ashtray and SHE allowed me to feel the hot end of HER cigarillo. Oh, Goddess, what will happen next time?

And i begged, begged and begged to be allowed to repair HER notebook, to take care of it for HER and SHE granted me that privilege as well. I feel so honored. What a great weekend i am allowed to spend, working for HER! Thank YOU, my Mistress, thank YOU very much.

i feel also very bad. What a repulsive creature i am next to HER. i am working hard on my diet and exercises, but SHE knows and i know it will take a long time before i will be able to kneel at HER feet without shame, before SHE will not be embarrassed by my presence.  SHE knows what SHE wants and SHE gets it.

SHE is so kind to me, yet i constantly worry i will disappoint HER. Not for lack of diligence or submissiveness, not because i do not hold my promises, but because in HER presence i become incredibly nervous, tongue tied idiot without any thought. i am so intoxicated by HER personality, HER beauty, elegance and domination that i am starting to understand the religious trance. i am fully aware of what i am doing, what is going on around me, what SHE is doing, i am probably also capable to act voluntarily to certain extend, but otherwise i am there for HER and for HER only and everything but HER is far far distant background.

SHE is my Mistress!

A Midsummer Night's Dream Sequel

While i was living my dream that Friday night, HER broken phone was very real. i am the one to blame for it. It dropped out of the car when SHE was stepping out, it fell right next to my head. But at that moment only SHE existed in the whole world for selfish me, only HER heels stepping on my back.

i apologized to HER later, i begged HER to let me buy HER a new phone, any phone SHE would like to get. And SHE allowed me to buy HER an iPhone. So Saturday morning i was back with HER new phone and with some sandwiches for HER partner SHE also ordered from me. i was back but i was not allowed to see HER again, i just left everything by the door and went to hell... with HER sacred image in my poor and stupid mind.

Thank YOU, my Mistress, thank YOU for everything.

A Midsummer Night's Dream?

Well, i feel very lucky. Friday night, August 3rd, was The magical night for me. i cannot think of any superlatives that would adequately describe HER and i have no words for what happened to me.

SHE opened my eyes. i am a fat pig and i have to make myself a man, otherwise i will never see HER again. SHE allowed me to understand what i will be fighting for and i could not thank HER more.

i do not know the thoughts of other subs, but my brain was gone that night, my whole being was concentrated into HER eyes, into lips, which were allowed to kiss the soles of HER shoes, into the indescribable feeling of face slapping, kicking, trampling and humiliating myself for HER.

Now i know that i have been made to be HER footstool, HER servant, HER slave and i will do everything i can to fulfill HER terms. Goddesses of the world, help me, please!

Goddess GINA Recommends 10

Reader's Diary (Week 31)

The hours when the mind is absorbed by beauty are the only hours when we really live, so that the longer we can stay among these things so much the more is snatched from inevitable Time... These are the only hours that are not wasted - these hours that absorb the soul and fill it with beauty. This is real life, and all else is illusion, or mere endurance.
(Jefferies, 1884)

Cranach's Financial Domination, Part 1

The Ill-Matched Couples was a favorite subject in the Cranach workshop. Over 40 different versions has been made by Cranach and his pupils. The theme has been derived from various literary sources, but it became popular in 16th century thanks to then a bestseller from Erasmus of Rotterdam - the 'In Paise of Fooly' essay printed in 1511.

Cranach's versions are differentiated by emphasizing different aspects of the the theme. The Women are always elegant and Their clothing suggest high social status and economical independence. The elderly man usually repays a young Women's attention by giving Her valuable jewlery or letting Her take the only thing She is interested in - his money. The men are always awkward, they are in love and take everything very seriously. Women are amused, sometimes already a little disgusted, but They remain calm and playful. They own the man, They already own everything he has to offer.